WHAT SHOULD I DO

Charles and I have known each other for 12 months now. I met him at a friends birthday party.

 At chikas birthday party, i knew no one else. But she decide that i should come . I have been so engrossed in work lately. I thought it was time to unwind.


At the party chika was in the lime light dancing with every guy around. I sat by the corner. Now i should have invited someone, was what i thought.


So this tall husky looking guy walked up to me. And invited me to the dance floor. I declined but he insisted. I spent the rest of the night getting to know Charles.


He worked as an accountant at Elizade consultancy. He was from a family of 4, all boys and he was from a neighbouring village too in Abia state.



He was so nice to me, when he was leaving i gave him my number. Well i didnt give him willingly, he asked and i did.

Its been 10 months since we started dating. But it seem like its the the worst 10 months of my life.


Charles is a successful, calm and sensitive guy, well exactly what outsiders see and say about him. But that's not truly what he is.


Charles is always critizing everything i do. Whether its the way i pack my hair, or the way i dress, how i walk. He always has something negative to say about it.


I recall a day we went for his friends party. I asked him about my dressing before we left the house and he said it was ok. When we got to the party, it seemed like i over dressed. Then he started making a joke about it.


I was so surprised, confused  and embarrassed.
I felt uncomfortable throughout my stay at the party and he insisted I stayed till the end.


When we got home, he was complaining that i was so up tight at the party.

That i am no fun at all, he started relishing the comments his friends made about my dressing.

i didn't find it funny.

I slept that night crying my heart out.

At another function, charles was chatting with his ex girlfriend, so i walked up to him, so he would introduce me to her. He was totally rude and made condemning  remarks about how i am too clingy to him.

I left him at the function  and went home.

The next day he came to my house apologising about what happened at the function, but was arguing that i over reacted. He took me out on a treat. Then i thought if he was the man i fell in love with, or maybe i actually over reacted.


I am going to do my best. Maybe if i show him enough love that he will stop hurting me.

The following weeks were so beautiful, he called more often and was such a darling. So the next Sunday i decided to pay him a suprise visit to his house.


When i got there i met his friends, they were celebrating. I walked into the kitchen to see Charles.

I told him of the suprise visit, and he flared up. That i was disrupting his plans. He was supposed to hang out with his friends that i should go back home.


What! But i am already here. Please go, he yelled and left for the siting room.

What is happening again?


James walked in, i was still rooted to the ground in amazement of what Charles had said .


James i asked "what are you guys celebrating, oh Charles was chosen to travel to canada for his company for 3 months on a work thingy"

When? next week... What!?! I gasped
He didnt tell you.

I just left james there and went home.


What kind of a guy doesn't tell his girlfriend that that he is travelling to Canada the next week.


I must be insane in the first place to call him my boyfriend.

I was determined to call the relationship quits.


I didnt get any call or text from charles for 4 days. On a Saturday morning he came to the house, my room mates woke me up, that Charles was here.

What is he doing here???

He insisted he wanted to see me,so i dressed up and  came out after him making a fuss with my room mates.


He told me, he had a suprise for me. As we drove, we were both silent, i had already made up my mind that if he starts talking about what happened on that day i will just call it quits.

He took me to a nice restaurant, it was so lovely, few minutes into the meal, i had already forgotten about what he has done. I was enjoying the moment then Charles held my hand and brought out a  ring.

He asked me to marry him.

What! You are travelling abroad remember.

Yes! When i come back, we will officiate it. You are engaged to me now.

I didnt  know if i was going to say yes or no.

I raised my eyes to meet the eyes of everyone in the restaurant, looking at me, waiting for my reply. 

I couldn't say No! It would be so embarrassing. 

So i said yes! 

Everyone there,  cheered. 

At that instant i was happy, maybe Charles wasnt as terrible as I imagined. 

When he comes back in the next three months we would be married, so i better start warming up to the idea. 

I went home excited, my friends were happy for me. But loveline wasn't. She has never liked Charles. 

I ignored her talks. I was the one going to get married right, not her. 

I was at the airport to see my fiancée off to the white mans land. As i was waving good bye to him, my throat suddenly went dry, what if Charles never returns, for how long am i supposed to wait for him.

Charles called so often and he always asked how I was faring. Then one day i told him broke and didn't have transport fare to work, he sent over a thousand dollars to me through james. I was so excited.

I was lucky to have a man like this, was my only thought. 

The 3 months went by quickly, i was at the airport to receive him, i was all smiles, when i saw him with his luggages. Suddenly my countenance changed. What is this. 

Charles walking towards me with a girl in his arm. 

The girl was seriously flirting with him, squeezing his arms and putting her hands in his pocket. 

What a terrible sight this is.

Am i supposed to react now,i havent seen him in 3 months or react now because my blood is literally boiling. 

Funny enough when he got to where i was standing i managed to control myself feigning a weak smile. 

Disgut rose in my heart as Charles introduced the girl as his colleague. 

I hissed, as we walked away from the sluty girl.

When we got to his house, i put up the bathing water, but I was confused if I should confront him. 

He called me and showed me everything thing he got for me. You know that feeling when you boyfriend just comes back with the extra luggages filled with stuff for you. 

I am not materialistic, but someone who always thinks if what to do for you, or what to get for you, doesn't strike me a totally bad person.

Did i even remember the drama going on in my head. 

I haven't seen Charles in 3 months and i have missed out on all the sex action. 

That night we had the most amazing sex, i had  literally forgotten what it meant to orgasm. 

Of all the men i have known, Charles sure knows how to make me happy in bed. 

He insisted i stayed in the house for the next two days, well he was my fiancee now. 

I had the most amazing 48 hours, he cooked, washed, cleaned the house he didn't let me touch anything. And then the sex was waw. 

He was suddenly athletic and his urge has increased. I don't mind and don't care.

It was Monday so soon, we both have to go back to work. 

I was literally living my fantasy, my man, i wanted to see him this weekend but i would just call when am at the door.

Where are you. Am at home he answered,. So i dropped the call. 

I walked in, i had the spare key.

Where is he, i thought. I heard the shower come on. Oh he is upstairs. Then i heard a female voice humming in the kitchen.

What! I raced to the kitchen, guess who i saw. The female colleague  from the airport in bra and pant,  In my kitchen what is happening here i yelled. 

She turned and smiled, 

Charles!!  i screamed, he can running down. 

The girl kept doing whatever she was doing in the kitchen like I was not even there.

Charles, looked rather shocked to see me. 

He wanted to raise his voice, 

Why didn't you tell me you were coming. 

Who the hell is she? 

I am sorry Queen is not what you think! 

If i collect how many times i have heard this from charles, i would be a billionaire. 

You slept with her and you are saying its not what I think. 

It was just one time. 

The crazy girl chipped in. 

Not true charles, all those times in Canada. 

What jeez

All the lies, broken promises, insult, disrespect, criticism Charles have done, i have never imagined him as someone that would cheat on me. 

I removed his ring and left it on the table

As i walked home, tears blurred my vision. 

As i flagged down the cab, if it was ritual cab or 419,i really didn't care. 

At that point in my life dieing felt better. 

After everything i have done, all the ridicule, the criticism  and he still cheated. 

The traffic jam was not helping, i told the cab man where to stop me. I cried and dozed off to sleep in the cab. 

The cab man, touched me madam, madam, we don reach. My room mates was asking the cab man, what happened. Their noise woke me. I stood up, paid the cab man and walked into the house without answering their questions. 

What was i going to say! Charles cheated on me. 

Insane I thought!

I went to work the next few days,  a ghost of myself. I engrossed myself in work only to be disturbed by Charles hourly call.

What was he going to say this time. That i was overreacting.

I was no longer interested.

I told him clearly, but he insisted he wasn't going to give up.

I finally opened up and told my room mates what happened. They banned him from coming into our house. But that didn't prevent him from showing up every weekend.

What type of a man is this! 

September passed rather so slowly, with Charles bugging me every now and then. 

I remember first October very clearly. I was vomiting seriously. 

What did i eat yesterday night. I wondered. 

Maybe the food was bad i thought. 

The following day was proceeded by increase in appetite, added weight and sleep . I took the obvious test. 

I was two months pregnant for charles. 

What  a life am i living.

Finally i decided to talk to Charles, i wasnt going to abort this baby and i am not going to be a single parent.

I have not seen Charles for 2 months now, when i called him. He was so excited, we agreed to meet at my favourite restaurant. He apologised like he used to. 

I barely heard whatever he said. By this time i was already used to his apologies.

I was only scared of his reaction if i told him that i was pregnant.

I slowly eat the rice and had no appetite, then he noticed i was playing with the food. He asked what was wrong i told him i was pregnant.

His reaction marvelled me.

He was happy. And promised that he was a changed man and he was going to treat me right.

He promised, more than any man will promise to any girl. 

I had no choice either.

He insisted we met our parents. So the next two weekends were spent going to met my parents  and his.

He wanted me to move into the house, but i refused. 

I was going to marry him but i wasnt all excited  about it.

He acted  differently  and was a better person. 

I felt in my heart that he has changed. 

I should really forget his one time mistake and move one, were my thoughts as i approached his house.

He opened the door and walked me in, offered me juice. I rested my head on the leather sofa after walking on the blazing sun.

Then someone walked in, cynthia(that airport girl/the one i saw with bra and pant in Charles house). 

What are you doing here again. 

Charles walked in, casually.

What is she doing here,  i asked.

Shut up this girl! You are always dramatic.He yelled.  I am still sleeping with sandra, sex with her is great. By the way its just sex. You are the one am getting married to. And by the way since we are not married yet and you refused to move into the house and resume your marital duties, so she is helping you with it.

I was three months pregnant and in that instant i froze on that leather sofa and tears just flowed 

There you go again, losing it, crying and making a fuss. He said disgusted.

There is nothing you can do now. If you tell anyone i will leave you. Will you want to raise up your child, as a single parent. What are you going to tell your parents. So you better play along unless, i will leave you.

I cursed the day i was born, as he and cynthia walked into the room.

What have i done to myself. Who am i going to tell my  misery.

I am a woman and i dont deserve to be treated this way. I fumed.

 I had lost everything, my dignity. I have been emotional battered beyond recognition. 

I no longer know who i am. 

I cant remember all the bad decisions i have made that led to this moment. 

Where did i go wrong in this life. 

Did anyone place a curse on me. 

Well every woman should fight for his man. Even though Charles is not worth fighting for but he is the father of my child and i am not going to sit here frozen and some woman will come and destroy me.

I stood up and walked up into  the  room where the two devils in my life were.

I walked in. I rushed Cynthia sitting by the edge of the bed. She yelled. I was determined to beat her black and blue. 

She was shouting this woman you are pregnant ookkk. And you don't know when you were sleeping with my husband (the word husband came out wrong). 

   Charles come and hold her. She yelled. 

I was determined to deal with her because she was the worse devil amongst them. 

Charles stood up from the bed and as he was pulling us apart i fell.

What happened next i cant remember. 

But i woke up, the next day in the hospital. Onyinye my room mate was there. It felt strange, what are you doing here i asked. 

Pull yourself together, she said you lost the baby.

As i closed my eyes. I thought. Thank God, if this child was born , he/she would have felt cursed.

The hospital discharged me today, i just got home and Charles is banging on my door asking for forgiveness.

All the wicked thoughts any man could think of is running in my head right now

What should I do?